AM JEALOUS

Am jealous
Please dont judge me but I am jealous
I know yes you will tell me jealous is not of God.
You should know that Norah,you are a christian

But here I am telling the world am jealous
What makes my jealous subject for criticism though?
Is it cause I said it out?
Wait.
Are you saying it would have been christian if I was jealous but the world just dint I know about it?
The only difference is that you know enough for you to judge

But anyway, please dont judge me
Cause I really am jealous
I am jealous of how he loves you
How he says your name with a smirk on his face
Am jealous of how he loves your every being
His love for you is written all over him.
Literally...
Well that's because he has enough shirts on with your name on each one of them
Like he wears his love for you as a badge of honour

Am jealous of the effort he puts just to make you happy
How he stares in your eyes like he can see his entire future which is so blissful and certain

Am jealous of how he looks at you and he sees much more than what they all see. A beautiful, coke bottled fine lady
I bet he would obviously say you are his Proverb 31 and him loving you is him fulfilling Ephesians 528

Am jealous of how he looks at you and invisions his fruit in your womb
How in just his visions his twin boys are all dressed ready to go for school, how you are a mess from the morning runs yet he smiles from... just.... that.....vision

I am jealous of how he prays for you, how in every sentence of pray even before he bewifes you he prays for you like you are his entire responsibility

I am jealous of how gentle he drives knowing you are in the passengers seat
How he walks slightly behind you with the intention of protecting you from any harm should it come your way

I look at you and am jealous
Jealous at how he love you

Am jealous because I had such a one that loved me like Christ loves the church
The one that looked at me with all the admiration that dazzles all the onlookers

I am jealous because I had such a love and I let it slide through my hands
I had it and I watched it slide in a mere glimpse

And so each time I stare at my hands am reminded of how it all was and what has become of it now
Am jealous of how she holds you tight enough not to allow you to slide
......Like I did with mine

So yes, judge me
Judge me for being jealous cause I am jealous
Am jealous
And all I do is wish upon the star that one day
 if I do find such a love
If I do behold such a love

I might hold on like it was a golden chance to do things right again
 Maybe then I wouldnt be jealous of her, because I would be her.
The envy of every girl