I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU

I miss you
No not today though
am just saying I miss you

I saw something that reminded me of you
And I had a mental flash back and I missed you
Not to say I miss you and me together
It was merely just a flash back
And I thought it right I mention that I did miss you

Its been a while since I allowed such a flash back to penetrate my thoughts and allowed the thought to ignite the feeling of a void within which caused the missing

And then a smile lite on my face so wide I could feel all my 32 teeth visible to whoever was in my view

So I missed you today
And for the the first time missing you dint hurt

See, the day after you left I built a wall so high that made me believe you never existed
I read pain can create personalities in your head to cover up all the pain and because of the effort to forget the pain the personalities seem so real and alive

When you left I wished that on me.....
but...
it dint happen.

 I guess I dint read the part which said "all contents in this book are not based on real characters but are merely fictitious"

And so, the day after you left I missed you and it hurt.

I missed you today....
And......
missing you today dint bring back any anger or hurt, bitterness or pain

I missed you today and I laughed
I remembered the day you were trying to fix my bulb and you nearly fell and you believed I would hold you if you did lol
I bet at that moment you for once forgot how heavy you are or maybe what you forgot was how tiny I am.

I missed you today.....
....and I smiled.

And I realised missing  you dint hurt anymore
Yet I for a long time was afraid to face those fears for fear that missing you would tear me apart
I constantly mounted the wall to missing you for fear of my heart wishing you back in my life 

Missing you today made me smile at the beauty we shared,
at the bravity to smile at my past and most of all
Missing you today made me realise just how much I want to always be in a happy place with him
Him who dared to patiently silence the voices of hurt that lingered in my head
Him who loved even when I wasnt ready to return the love...

With my hands moulding a castle with the beach sand and a smile on my face,
 his eyes closed enjoying the eloquent sun I looked at him and said
"I dont want to ever miss you"
With a smile on his face like he knew exactly what was going through my head yet oblivious he said
"You will never have to. Am here to stay"

#LoveLivesHere