SO SHE LEFT

....One day she dint mind that he had to leave in a haste after a phone call

She was indifferent, she dint mind the call, she dint mind the haste, neither did she mind to watch him leave

 .......She dint mind the awkward silence in the bloom of day. Neither did she try to break it.....

But he wouldnt notice....
He wouldnt notice despite her not constantly nagging him for his attention. He dint notice her slowly drifting...

Slowly she taught her mind not to care if he was constantly on his phone smiling while texting and consciously closing the phone when she is close enough....

She told herself to breath in and breath out and do something other than brew anger when he is running late or when he doesnt come at all

She slowly saw him change in her eyes and she dint know what to do about it, and so she watched him from afar hoping whatever spell came on him would sooner than later be lifted and it could be him again...

But that dint happen either, it was just that, a girl in love merely hoping. Hoping for what once was to be again...

Hours of standing her up on her saturday deep conditioning hair days turned to days, days into weeks, and weeks into months

Deep down she knew she had lost him but she hoped, there was something left in him that still wanted to be with her

Yet the more she looked for it, the more she dint see any emotion, any flinch, any  compasion....

See, a girl wont just wake up one day and leave The prince charming she wholeheartly, body soul and spirit loved and leave....

But if at all that day comes and she does leave it only means this:

That this day happened probably a couple of weeks, months, years back, but he was too busy living his life, he couldnt notice
And when she did physically leave, he wondered why she left

No no no she dint have another man
You just pushed her to this day so hard she slowly told her mind it would be safer to gradually start packing and preparing the mind psychologically for this day she so dreaded

Mediocre wasnt enough anymore. She heard of stories of BETTER else where and she knew she deserved it

But he dint notice this either, did he?He was too busy being selfish.

You told her you would be out with the boys so you couldnt see her later that day and she dint argue like she always did. she dint beg for you to stay and spend the evening with her instead

But what do you know? You were too busy doing everything else than notice her slowly sliding through your hands

Between 18hrs and midnight December 20th, her friends took her out for a little breath of fresh air
But you wouldnt know cause you dint check on her
And so one day, she gathered all the fear of losing the little WhatIf and all the beautiful plans for the future you once promised and her mind for once braved her emotions and she left

....She left with her ears closed and she dared herself not to look back atleast not just yet cause even her mind knew something within her wanted to stay, mediocre felt like home. It wasnt so bad, and she wasnt the first afterall

And when she left, He told the world she was obviously cheating, why did she move on so fast

What he dint know is that she tried to love him despite his inconsistencies and when she realised it wasnt worth it

She psychologically packed before she could physically leave

Nolonger did she mind him leaving without giving her a kiss on the forehead
To him she had stopped being needy
To her, her fire had all been blown off and all that was left was just the smoke that made her physically leave before it choked her as she exited

.....One day mediocrity wasnt enough
So she braved her emotions and allowed her brain to take charge
And so she left